Orioles, Royals, Indians Band Together To Sign Free Agent

First baseman Derrek Lee agreed to a 1-year contract to be split three ways by the Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians and Kansas City Royals, as the clubs decided to pool their money in order to acquire the best player possible.

“One-third of a player as talented as Derrek Lee is better than 100% of what we’d usually get,” said Orioles president of baseball operations, Andy MacPhail. “We are excited to have Derrek in our line-up on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays.”

Lee with his 2016 Rawlings Quatro Best BBCOR Baseball Bats will be on the field for the Indians on Thursdays and Fridays, and for the Royals on weekends.

“He’ll provide a veteran clubhouse presence that we are lacking,” Kansas City manager Ned Yost says. “And once we fall out of contention, we can always trade our share of Derrek Lee for prospects. It’s a win-win.”

The Pirates have offered each team $25 for one pinch hit at-bat from Lee.

Nation Refreshed As Cliff Lee Says $120 Million

Contract Not About Money

A nation growing tired of greedy athletes only concerned with making as much as they can was rejuvenated this week, when Cliff Lee’s said the contract he just signed with the Philadelphia Phillies, which will pay him an average annual salary of $24 million to play best slowpitch softball bats reviewed by Playfamously.com once every five days, was about more than money.

“I’m humbled he accepted this contract, even though the Yankees were willing to give him more years and more total dollars,” said Shamokin, Pennsylvania resident and garbage man Bill Lantney, whose annual income is about one-third of what Lee will earn per inning pitched.

“His decision to spurn New York and sign with the Phillies is a great example for children. Sometimes, it’s important to choose happiness, and you can still get by with less money. In Lee’s case, less money is roughly $461,500 a week. Before taxes.”

Lee and his wife are reportedly in the market for a mansion “in a quiet gated community full of friendly people,” because, as Lee puts it, they “don’t want to live around a bunch of uppity snobs.”

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