Bud Selig Intentionally Fails To Notify Pirates Of Opening Day

Claiming it “was in the best interests of the game of baseball”, commissioner Bud Selig purposely neglected to inform the Pittsburgh Pirates that the 2011 season was about to commence, stating they don’t really fit with Opening Day festivities.

“Opening Day is about celebrating the game of 2018 best softball bats and fostering joy, hope and excitement for fan bases everywhere,” said Selig, pointing out that the start of the MLB season is a grandiose spectacle with much fanfare. “No one associates any of that with the Pirates.”

Selig promises he will let the Pirates know their 162-game schedule has already started, but would have to take care of some more important issues first.

“Once we ensure the season is off to a smooth start with my favorite and best fastpitch softball bats bought from JustBats, and after I take care of a few personal errands, I’ll definitely tell them they have some games to play. Without the Pittsburgh Pirates, we’d have an odd number of teams in the National League, and scheduling would be a nightmare, so they actually do serve a purpose by finding a new glove.”

The Pirates’ absence on Opening Day will be recorded as a “respectable but still realistic” 6-2 loss to the Cubs.

Posted in mlb

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Follow Us

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

RSS Astros RSS Feed

  • Patient Astros continue red-hot run vs. Sox April 22, 2018
    The Astros sent 10 batters to the plate and pushed across five runs in the seventh inning, including a two-run, bases-loaded double by Marwin Gonzalez, and pulled away to win, 7-1, and sweep the White Sox for their sixth consecutive win.
    Brian McTaggart
  • Cole, Astros head home to host Angels April 22, 2018
    The Astros open a 10-game homestand on Monday by sending Gerrit Cole to the mound to face the Angels at 7:10 p.m. CT. Cole (2-0, 0.96 ERA) has struck out 41 batters and allowed three earned runs in 28 innings through his first four starts.
  • These guys are making it easy for the bullpen April 22, 2018
    The dominance of the Astros' starting rotation in the first three weeks of the season has had a ripple effect on the bullpen. Houston relievers had thrown the fourth fewest innings (62) in the Major League entering Sunday, which could pay huge dividends going forward if the starters continue work deep into games.
    Brian McTaggart
  • Reddick's 2-HR night slams White Sox April 22, 2018
    Josh Reddick mashed the first pitch Lucas Giolito threw to him in the second inning and sent it over the right-field wall for a game-breaking grand slam and added another homer in the fourth to back left-hander Dallas Keuchel in a 10-1 win over the White Sox at Guaranteed Rate Field. The Astros have won […]
    Brian McTaggart
  • Astros offer messages of support to Farquhar April 22, 2018
    The focus of the White Sox clubhouse Saturday centered on reliever Danny Farquhar and really nothing more, with tests revealing he suffered a brain hemorrhage during the sixth inning of Friday night's 10-0 loss to the Astros at Guaranteed Rate Field.
    Scott Merkin
  • JV, bats sizzle as Astros cruise past White Sox April 21, 2018
    Justin Verlander tossed six scoreless innings to win his 10th consecutive regular-season decision and George Springer drove in four runs to lead the Astros to their fourth consecutive victory, 10-0, over the White Sox in the series opener Friday at Guaranteed Rate Field.
    Brian McTaggart
  • Springer's Little League HR caps 5-run frame April 21, 2018
    Houston broke through against the White Sox on Friday night with a five-run fourth inning, highlighted by an inside-the-park home run from George Springer, who began the play with a two-run double to left.
    Brian McTaggart

Recent Posts

GiottoPress by Enrique Chavez

%d bloggers like this: